Honorficabilitundinitatibus
by Miss Akiyata
Summary: Matt and Allen have to find a gift for Oliver for Mother's Day. Unfortunately for Al, Matt stumbles upon his secret fear and decides to use it against him. Silly Oliver doesn't help the situation. Rated T for Al's mouth.


**Another one-shot for a fiction-writing group I'm in. This one's theme must include three things: hamster wheel, sunny weather, and the word "**_**honorficabilitudinitatibus**_**." Yes, that is a real word & it basically means "the state of being able to achieve honors." **

**I had little idea of what to do for this, so I decided to make a belated Mother's Day one-shot with our lovely 2P FACE family! :)**

**So...here it goes. Enjoy!**

* * *

Matt and Allen trudged along the streets of the city. Francois had told them to find something great to give to Oliver for Mother's Day. Though the cheerful Brit wasn't exactly their parent (or a woman at that), he had raised them and still scolded them over small things. He was far girlier than the Frenchman and therefore was nicknamed the mother of the FACE family, as they called it, much to his disgrace. Still, the two young nations did not deem it fair that they had to go out together in search of a gift.

"Ugh," the American complained. "What does Ollie even like?!" He shoved his hands into the pockets of his jacket and put on his best frown. His brother simply rolled his eyes and continued on, glancing in the glass windows of stores without much interest.

"How about a pet?" Matt asked, stopping to stare in the window of a pet store. Allen immediately shook his head.

"No fuckin' way are we getting him something he'll just kill."

"Come on. It's not like we're getting him a human kid or anything. Ollie actually likes animals," the Canadian explained. He just wanted to get something and be over with it.

"Fine," Allen agreed, though not too happy about it. He strode towards the entrance of the store and swung the door open, his brother following behind lazily. "But don't blame me if it turns into a cupcake!"

"Whatever," the Canadian said and kept quiet afterward. The two of them looked through the shop at the various caged animals. They debated on what to get him. Allen thought it'd be funny to get him a snake or tarantula; Oliver hated those. But Matt was smart enough to talk him out of it. The last thing they needed was for the creepy Brit to lose his mind (more so than he already had) and beat them. For well over half an hour, the brothers continued to debate on animals. Their 'mother' loved puppies, but the poor creatures would do nothing but cause stress to the elder nation, and stress was something that caused the Brit to snap. Oliver already had a cat that wasn't all too friendly with others of its kind, so it would be best to avoid kittens...Birds were noisy. Lizards were boring. Scorpions and Ollie would be a terrible combination all together. Maybe some kind of rodent? Yeah, a rabbit would be perfect. Oliver had been nicknamed "Bunny" in his younger days, after all.

"Damn it," Allen cursed as he stared down into the empty rabbit pen.

"I guess they're a popular gift?"

"Whatever. What the hell are we supposed to get him now?"

Matt lazily looked into the other rodent pens. All the store had left were mice, hamsters, and guinea pigs. One in particular caught his attention, and he bent over the rim of the cage for a closer look, reaching down to pick up a furry creature. He lifted his hand in front of his face and stared at the animal with a bored expression. His brother came up beside him with a 'what the fuck are you doing' expression. Then he looked at the little hamster in the Canadian's hand and furrowed his eyebrows together, eyes widening slightly. The hamster had pink-orange fur with darker brown specks on its face, resembling freckles. On its chest was a white patch of fur that curiously resembled a bow tie. Its eyes were a vibrant blue.

Matt and Allen glanced at each other in shock and then back at the hamster. "Ye think this is fate or something?" Matt asked.

"I think it's fucking creepy as fuck," the American answered, standing up straight while still staring at the strange rodent. He was half surprised the animal didn't tell him "swear jar," though it relieved him that it didn't. That would be too weird. Shaking the thoughts from his head, Allen sighed and went to find a cheap hamster pen for the animal. Afterward, the brothers paid for the creature and assembled its new pen so that they could take it straight home. After all, they were doing last-minute shopping. It was the day before Mother's Day, and they figured it wouldn't be too hard to hide the creature until the morning.

After nearly an hour of walking around the city, Matt's arm was getting tired from carrying the hamster cage. His temper was beginning to run short, and he was seriously hungry. "Allen, why don't _you_ carry this damn thing for a while?" he asked angrily through gritted teeth, trying to not lose the cigarette in his mouth as he talked.

"It was your idea to buy him a pet, so you have to carry it," Allen reasoned with a smirk.

Matt grunted. "Then hurry up and find your fuckin' car already," he growled, causing the American's smirk to grow into an asshole-grin. This did not go unnoticed by the Canadian. "Prick," he said as he reached for his cigarette to tap the ashes away and blow smoke into the air.

"Watch where you blow your cancer, jackass," Allen scolded, trying to wave the smoke away.

"What's that?" the Canadian asked, face neutral though his voice hinted that he enjoyed pissing off the other nation. He took another puff of his cigarette and purposely blew it back out into the American's face, smirking in satisfaction as Allen snapped and stormed off. "Where ya goin'?" he called after the brunette.

"Away from your cancer, jackass!" Allen yelled from up ahead.

Matt sighed. "Same insult twice in a row," he tsked. "Americans."

Allen continued stomping off, hands shoved in his pockets. It pissed him off that people felt the need to smoke sticks of death and slowly kill others along with themselves. "People are fucking stupid," he mumbled, not paying attention to where he was going. Unfortunately for him, his ignorance caused him to trip over something and fall flat on his face onto the sidewalk. Groaning, he got back to his feet and whipped around, ready to beat the living shit out of whoever tripped him. Instead though, he froze in place at the sight of a large, green frog costume smiling at him. It wore a bright pink dress and an apron with a big heart on it. Sweat and blood trickled down Allen's forehead, and he couldn't bring himself to move. He didn't know what to do...until the mascot spoke in a muffled voice, asking if he was alright and reaching out to him. The American flinched away, heart beating quickly in his chest as his eyes flashed from the giant frog to the arm it almost grabbed to the area surrounding them. Seeing that his brother was nowhere in sight, he began to hyperventilate and freak out. Before he realized, the frog mascot had grabbed his arm, asking if he were alright. At this, he began to spaz out and yanked until he'd finally freed his arm from the creature. Without hesitation, he whipped around, stumbled, and ran as fast as he could to get away. He didn't stop either and kept running further into the city, even though he could hardly breathe. And suddenly, he was grabbed by the arm and thrown to the ground, where he began to thrash and sputter, thinking it was an attack...only to calm when he saw that it was Matt.

"What the hell is wrong with you?!" the Candian demanded, glaring down at his brother as he caught his breath. "Well?"

"Fucking- Just let me breathe," Allen said and weakly got to his feet. Once his breath was finally steady, he let out an elongated sigh of relief and began walking again, calmly.

"Allen," Matt said in a rather demanding voice. "Don't ignore me."

"I'm not ignoring you, asshole. I'm trying to find the car."

"Then fucking answer already. Why the hell were you freaking out?"

The American fidgeted under his brother's sharp gaze and once again shoved his hands into his jacket pockets. "I wasn't freakin' out. I just felt like running."

"Bullshit. You were hyperventilating and everything. You need to go to the mental hospital or something?" Matt squinted at the other nation and analyzed him for a long while. "Nah...Yer fuckin' scared of that costume, aren't ya?" He smirked when he noticed the other flinch.

"The hell would I be scared of a mascot for?"

"Come on, Al...don't lie to me." The Canadian grinned cockily and placed his free arm around the American's shoulders. "If it makes ya feel any better, I'm afraid of butterflies."

Allen sent him a questioning look and blinked. "Seriously?"

Matt let out a slight chuckle. "Seriously."

"Yeah, well...whatever," Allen answered, glancing away nervously. "But what the hell is so scary about a butterfly? They're not creepy."

"And mascots are?"

"Yeah," Allen answered shortly, and Matt smirked in satisfaction.

"Thanks for admitting your pathetic fear to me, Al," he said, patting his brother's shoulder before letting go to continue walking. "I'm not really afraid of butterflies, by the way," he laughed, waving over his shoulder.

"Wha- Fucking asshole!" the American shouted and chased after his brother. Eventually, luck caused him to chase the Canadian until they'd stumbled upon their lost vehicle. By that point, it was late, and both of them were worn out from running around, so they decided to call it quits and head home. Allen had threatened Matt to keep him from spilling his secret fear, and Matt had simply smiled and raised his arms up in defense. Great. Now his brother knew all about his stupid fear and could use it against him at any given time. Just his luck.

* * *

**The next day:**

Oliver shifted in bed, stretching an arm up in the air. He slowly blinked awake with a yawn and sniffed the air. Something sweet filled the air, and he found himself following the scent into the kitchen. There, he was met with Matt's back at the stove and Francois at the table, reading yesterday's paper.

The Frenchman glanced up at the pink-haired Brit and gave the ever-so-slightest smile before returning to his paper. Oliver sent a large smile back at the man and pranced over to his seat at the table. He grinned widely and kicked his legs as he waited for breakfast. Soon enough, a large plate of pancakes was set before him by a rather peaceful-looking Canadian.

"Ah! Flapjacks are my favourite! Thank you Mattie," Oliver squealed and jumped from his chair to hug the boy.

Matt hugged back slightly and smirked at his former care-giver's excitable personality. "Happy Mother's Day, Ollie," he said and smiled at the Brit, who clapped his hands and sat back down to eat his breakfast cheerfully.

"Where's Al?" the Brit asked half way through his meal, one cheek full of food. Ironically, he resembled a hamster doing that.

"Right here," the American answered sleepily, leaning against the doorframe to the kitchen. His hair was a mess, and the bags under his eyes were a bit darker than usual. He seemed to struggle with keeping his eyes open.

"Allen, dear, would you like a cup of tea?"

"Nah," he replied and yawned before walking in to open the fridge. He grabbed the orange juice and drank straight from the jug.

"Allen! What have I told you about that?!" Oliver shouted. Allen turned to him and stared blankly, sighing before placing the juice back in the fridge. "Come sit," the Brit said, back to his cheerful self, as he patted the seat beside him. "Your brother made some lovely flapjacks."

"Whatever," replied the grumpy American as he took his seat and quietly ate breakfast with his family. When they'd finally finished, Francois looked between the two younger nations, silently telling them to fetch whatever gift they'd bought the Brit. Catching his stares, the two of them got up simultaniously and left the room, leaving behind a confused Oliver. When they came back, they were carrying what looked like a box covered by a blanket. Canada gestured for Ollie to follow them to the living room, where they set the box in the center of the floor, the British nation kneeling beside it and staring curiously.

"Ooh, what is it?"

"See for yourself," Matt said and smiled, taking a seat on the couch beside Francois, who watched with a bored expression. Carefully, Oliver lifted the cover from the box, revealing a hamster cage with a fuzzy critter staring back at him. He squealed in delight, looking excitably between the animal and his family. Reaching in the cage, he pulled the little hamster out and inspected it closely.

"My golly, it looks like me!" Oliver exclaimed and ran over to Francois, holding it up to his face. "Look what the boys got me! Isn't she cute?!" The Frenchman seemed a surprised by the animal's appearance, for his eyes widened a bit more than usual. The Brit ran from him to Matt, hugging him briefly before running to Allen and hugging him, much to the American's discomfort. "What should I name her? Ooh, how about Sprinkles?! I like that! Little Sprinkley," he rattled on, petting the animal's chubby cheeks. "What a darling." After playing with her for a while, he placed the hamster back in its cage and put it on the stand beside his favorite chair. Then, he pranced back over to the couch, pulling Allen along, and brought everyone into a group hug. The others weren't quite as enthusiastic about it as he was, but they went along anyway...though Al did try to struggle out of it at first. They stayed in the hug for a good few minutes, waiting for Oliver to get his fill of the 'lovely family moment,' as he would call it. When it had finally finished, Ollie asked what they were going to do for the rest of the day. Francois answered that they could spend the day however he wished, and Matt added that he wanted to go out somewhere for lunch but said that it would be a surprise. So until then, the three other nations were forced to sit and watch My Little Pony with Oliver. Allen had to admit though...it wasn't as bad as he'd thought it would be. He didn't say that, of course. Instead, he just acted like his usual grumpy self and complained about watching a little girl show.

"Can we go now?" Allen asked in a somewhat whiney tone. It was already noon, and they had been sitting there for hours, watching a bunch of colorful ponies on T.V.

"Ah! Alright," Oliver clapped. "Mattie, you wanna take us out to lunch now?"

"Sure," the Canadian answered with a smile, though he was smirking on the inside. The four of them stood and got ready to leave. Matt drove them to the city, Francois sitting in the passenger seat, smoking a cigarette. It was sunny and hot as hell outside, so they decided to choose air conditioning over windows, except for the little crack of the window that the Frenchman had left down so he could smoke. Much to Allen's dislike, the smoke kept flying back into his face. On top of that, the American was stuck in the back with Oliver, who was literally bouncing in his seat.

"Can you hurry the fuck up already?" Allen demanded, only causing the Canadian to smirk and laugh to himself.

"Swear jar!" Oliver scolded, furrowing his eyebrows at the American nation.

"Damn it," Allen said, slamming his head back into the seat.

"Swear jar!" Ollie yelled again.

"Crap. Okay," Al said and fished his pockets for two quarters to hand to the Brit.

Matt pulled into a parking lot and told everyone to get out. "Come on," he said and led the way down the sidewalk. Oliver hooked his arms with Francois' and Allen's, walking between them as they followed the Canadian. Allen froze at the sight of a familiar green frog; only this time, there were two of them. Ollie gasped in excitement and unhooked his arms so he could run and hug the colorful frogs. Matt smiled and shook his head at the childishness, then glanced back at his brother and smirked in victory. He saw the fear and hesitation on Allen's face, which the American quickly tried to cover when Francois between them. Quickly, he sped-walked past the two mascots and into the yogurt shop. Of course Matt would take them to Sweet Frog for lunch. He'd found out Allen's stupid fear and was fully ready to use it against him. Bastard.

For the next half hour or so, Allen was put on edge while he and the others sat in the pastel-colored store and ate yogurt. He was barely listening to the small talk going on between his family members. But at some point, he became well aware of the eyes on him. Glaring across the table, Al growled at the Canadian that had been staring at him and smirking. Unfortunately for him, Oliver had heard his little growl.

"Allllll, what's wrong?" the Brit asked, tugging on the American's sleeve. "Allennnn, don't ignore meeee." Allen simply groaned and rubbed his head, resting it in his arm, which was propped on the table. He sent another half-assed glare toward Matt, who continued to smirk. "Oh, you need to smile more," Oliver said and turned Al's lips upward with his fingers. "See," he grinned. Allen swatted him away and scowled. "Rude," the Brit frowned.

Allen sighed exhaustively. "Can we just leave this frilly place already?" he asked, rubbing his temple to calm himself. It was really unnerving to have two giant frogs walking around behind him with creepy smiles on their faces.

"Not without pictures, we can't!" Oliver squealed and dug a pastel blue cell phone out of his pocket. "Come on. Al, Matt, go stand with the froggies, okay?" he told them, getting up with his phone already set on camera mode.

Allen's eyes widened, and he began to freak out; trying his best not to show it, of course. Matt noticed this and put an arm around his shoulders, holding him tight so he couldn't escape. "It's fine," the Canadian smirked. "It's not like they're plotting to kill you or anything. Yet," he added and dragged his brother over to the two green things. Al struggled and tried to get free, but Matt's grip was too strong. Before he knew it, the two of them were standing in front of the frogs, a giant green hand set on each of their shoulders. Allen felt like shrinking down to nothing at that moment. He closed his eyes, wanting it to be over already, and tried to breathe more calmly. He didn't even realize that he was trembling.

"Allie, are you alright?" Oliver called, worry lacing his voice.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Just take the damn picture so we can leave," he growled, trying to cover the fear in his voice with a tone of irritation.

"Swear jar!"

Matt chuckled and leaned closer to his scowling brother, talking quiet enough so that only Al could hear. "Man, you really are afraid of these things."

"Shut up," Allen said through gritted teeth. Next thing he knew, Oliver ran up and squeezed in with them, accidentally pushing the American back into the frog. Al quickly sprang back forward, away from the mascot, and was pulled into a hug by the small British man. Francois quickly snapped a picture before all hell would break lose, which it did. "I'm done!" Allen shouted and stormed out of the yogurt shop. Oliver stared after him in confusion, and Matt simply laughed to himself.

"What's with him?" Francois asked.

"Nothin'," Matt said, shaking his head. "He's just being an idiot."

The three of them threw out their yogurt bowls and left the store, heading back toward the parking lot. When they got there, Al was leaning against the side of it, a grumpy scowl on his face. He seemed even more pissed off than usual.

"You took long enough," the American said and waited for his brother to unlock the car. As soon as it beeped, he climbed inside and sat down, arms crossed, staring out the window. He stayed like this throughout the ride. At one point, Oliver had glanced over to him and said that he'd owed him another quarter for swearing, but the Brit quickly gave up when Allen didn't even spare a glance. When the car finally parked in the driveway, the American stepped out and went straight to the house, heading for his room where he flopped on the bed, burrowing his face in the blanket. Worried, Oliver followed him up and watched the boy lay there. Allen was taking deep breaths as if trying to keep himself calm.

"Al..."

Allen grunted, muffled by the blanket that his face was buried in.

"What's wrong? You can talk to me."

Allen sighed and slowly flipped onto his back so that he was facing up. Oliver sat on the bed beside him, waiting for the younger nation to speak. "I'm just tired," he lied, but Ollie saw right through it.

"Oh, don't be like that. Tell me what's really wrong. You've been acting weird all day."

"Nothing. Matt was just messing with me is all," he said, closing his eyes lightly and letting out a tired breath.

Oliver raked his fingers through the American's hair. "Allie..." he said and watched the boy rest, smiling. His smile eventually grew into a grin, and he couldn't stop himself from shouting, "HONOR-FICA-BILI-TUDIN-ITAT-IBUS!" The sudden outburst, of course, caused Allen to jump awake.

"What the hell?!"

"Swear jar."

"Oliver."

"Whaaattt?" the Brit whined childishly.

"What did you just say?"

"You mean 'honorficabilitudinitatibus'?" he asked with a chirp in his voice.

"Yeah, that."

Oliver grinned widely. "Oh, I'm just honoured to have such a wonderful family," he said, hugging the American again. "Come on, let's go downstairs. I'll make sure Mattie doesn't pick on you anymore today, okay?" he said and bounced to his feet, skipping to the doorway. Before leaving though, he spun around and smirked to Allen. "Oh, and hun...mascots aren't that scary." He winked and bounded down the hallway before the American could answer.

"Huh..." Allen laughed to himself. "Bastards," he mumbled and eventually followed the Brit out of the room.

* * *

**So I made this up as I went. Matt, you asshole. I fucking love you. XD **

**I don't even know where this mascot fear came from. It just happened. Watch as this ends up becoming a headcannon or something. lol That would be hilarious.**

**Oh, and for the record, I am well aware that there doesn't need to be a "mother" figure in this sort of relationship. I just figured that since Ollie is so girly & the family members are always picking on each other, the boys probably would have made a joke out of calling him their mom instead of their dad. So my apologies if you found it offensive that I refer to him as their mother in this story. It wasn't necessarily meant to be like that.**

**Thanks for reading, guys! Hope you enjoyed this. _Please review~!_**


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